Here there be dragons...

"I'm telling you stories. Trust me." - Winterson

Sherlock crossed the Rainbow Bridge :(

His last night
In a ridiculously hard post to write, it is with sadness that I tell you the coolest cat of all time has crossed the Rainbow Bridge.  Sherlock, who would've been 15 in May, had to be put down last night.

Sherlock always "helped" me at the computer -- be it school or work
He's been losing weight slowly over the last year or so, but when I got home from Costa Rica there'd been a huge drop.  I'm not convinced he ate at all while we were away.  We gave him all his favourite foods and he'd pick at them but still only eating a fraction of what he used to.  I could feel his skeleton, and a rather large lump that definitely didn't belong.  On Wed night he wouldn't even lick chocolate ice cream :(   Despite not being permitted to have it, it's always been his favourite -- the one food I really couldn't trust him around.  Definitely not a good sign.  I got him an appointment for the next day.

He was a stunning cat
The next morning he was very wobbly.  He couldn't seem to get any traction; his paws would slide out from under him.  And when he did walk, he waivered as though drunk.  When I got him ready to go to the vet, it was the first time ever he didn't fight me about going into the cat carrier.  The vet told me he was in the late stages of kidney disease, had either a swollen spleen or an unidentified mass (I'm guessing that's the mystery lump I felt), and was severely dehydrated.  She also said there was a strong chance he had internal bleeding.  There were explanations for all her findings, but tbh at the moment they're all lost in the fog.  I recall her saying she said they could run tests to confirm, but she was very clear she wasn't recommending it.  She was trying to be diplomatic about saying he wouldn't live through them and at this point it didn't matter.  With steroids and IV she could buy him a day or two.  Make him slightly more comfortable.  But we both knew that day or two wouldn't be for him; it'd be for me.  And I really wasn't okay with the idea of him dying alone.

He loved looking out this window when we lived in Brampton
Instead, he went curled up in my lap, purring until the drugs knocked him out.  The vet was really good -- gave me what time I needed and explained the procedure clearly.  The drugs they gave him worked in seconds.  He went to sleep for the last time.  I'm crying even as I write this; I know it was the right thing to do and that it's a fact of life, but it doesn't make it any easier somehow…

There was no need for camouflage -- he knew the house was his
Sherlock came to live with me about a week after I got my first apartment.  He was five months old and I picked him up from the pound.  He still had a green spot on him from being neutered.  I had so much fun with him.  He learned to play fetch and kept me distracted when I should've been studying.  I quickly discovered I couldn't leave his food in ground-floor cupboards as he'd just open them and help himself.

After a rough night
Being with me for almost 15 years, we've been through a lot together.  He's known most of the people in my life.  He's been there, always ready to cuddle, when things were tough.  And more independent but always around when they were awesome.  We've had many a nap curled up together on the couch.  He's been on several airplanes, lived in two provinces, adopted another cat, some fish, and a rabbit.  He was an only cat for a long time, but when there were other critters, he quickly established himself as the boss. He didn't much care who entered his bubble as long as they left him alone.  The fish he used to watch, calculating, but he never actually harmed them.  Of course, he also occasionally would chase the laptop mouse around the screen too -- esp as a kitten! 
He was *not* okay with the addition of Sasha!
The only thing that got a reaction from him was Sasha -- she was clearly *not* allowed and Sherlock would often insert himself between me and her and offer her a good swack of his paw and a nasty hiss if she got too close.  Being rather amiable herself, Sasha usually just solved this problem by going around to the other side of wherever I was sitting *g*.

Whatever room I was in, he'd join me
He was a super-cool cat, and he will be missed.


My condolences.. I went through something incredibly similar with my cat a few summers ago. He was 16 when I had to have him put down and I'm pretty sure it to this day is the hardest thing I've ever had to do. It takes something out of your soul to sign a peice of paper telling someone they can kill a piece of your heart.. Of course that's not at all how it is but that's how it felt to me. I still remember that was the hardest part. Signing the paper. I had to rush him to the emerg vet and have him out down.. Be thankful you at least had a nice vet! The emerg vets may as well have been tossing some garbage out for the amount of caring they gave.. But then they do this every day I suppose. I'm rambling, you made me reminisce haha. I'm very sorry for your loss. I promise, it will get easier. I'm glad your little guy is no longer in pain and is a grumpy old man in kitty heaven with mine. :) - stef


It's amazing how much we get attached to our fur family. I still miss my Allie. Thinking of you. xoxoxo


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