Here there be dragons...

"I'm telling you stories. Trust me." - Winterson

Flash Fiction 30: Maybe you've heard this one before?

I've fallen and I can't get up! Or have I? This is either a creative commentary about the all-encompassing effect of the constant barrage of marketing on our society, or I was out of my own words and needed to borrow the words of others. You decide :) How much of this have you heard before? Had to leave out many of the classics -- 1000 word limit and couldn't quite work them into the plot. Maybe next time :) Enjoy!


Between love and madness lies obsession, and Karen was very much afraid that her work, finding a solution for a small planet, was there. It was the toughest job she'd ever loved, but sometimes she wondered if simply finding the antidote for civilization would be easier.

Her coworker Susan futily put the unresolved issue to a vote: "alright people, raise your hand if you're sure." Sure enough, there was no agreement. "Nobody? Really? Well I guess if you don't get it, you don't get it. After all, there are thousands of possibilities. Why not ask for more?"

"We've already run through 57 varieties of this conversation, can we please just do it?" Diane requested.

"No, when only the best will do we have to keep going and going and going until we find the one that lasts like a rock. But only diamonds are forever, so we should be sure to use the real thing."

"Oh give me a break. We need to think outside the bun here people. Life's complicated enough without making this a different kind of company. All we need to do is offer a fair and balanced perspective and demonstrate how we can think young and get more. Then people will start seeing small business differently and we'll be good to go. Karen, I know you have a friend in the digital age, what does he suggest?"

"Think," Karen said simply. "He says 'nobody knows it but me' and he's certainly not about to leave the driving to us. He told me that if we want to have billions and billions served we should ask how and ask now. But I believe we should think small. As an army of one we can prevent forest fires and bring good things to life. Seeing what the future has in store makes me proud that I am Canadian and feel that we should reach out and touch someone personally."

"She has a point," Jake mentioned.

"Does she... or doesn't she?" Susan interrupted. "It's good to talk, but maybe it's time to fcuk advertising let our fingers do the walking."

"meow, meow, meow, meow" Diane commented snarkily.

"Let's take a pause that refreshes and consider these options." Jake inserted calmly, "After all, like a good neighbour, we try harder. We are good to the last drop. And if they can't appreciate that, maybe they just don't care enough to send the very best."

"I'm lovin' it," Michael the CEO, previously silent, contributed before excusing himself to attend the greatest show on earth.

"He likes it! Mikey really likes it!" Karen laughed, relieved, as soon as he departed.

"That's news that's fit to print," Jake agreed.

"Well I guess you get to have it your way." Susan resentfully relented. "Same time tomorrow?" she asked, ending the meeting as she gathered up her notes.

"Hey, leggo my eggo!" Diane snapped as Susan accidentally picked up her priceless copper-top pen.

"So where do you want to go today for a quicker picker upper?" Jake asked Karen as they escaped the office to enjoy the ride.

"Where's the beef?" she asked in return.

"At the happiest place on Earth," he commented as he drove them to their favourite pub where they had shared many moments.

"I'm going to obey my thirst and have the king of beers," he told the waitress, "the one that made Milwaukee famous."

"I'd rather have coco pops," Karen commented idly, "they're not just for breakfast anymore."

"Hungry? How bout a finger lickin good burger instead?" the waitress suggested.

"But I'm craving the wave. Have you got milk? And maybe a pizzapizza?"

"We'll see what Brown can do for you," the waitress told her.

They chatted for a bit about the Jake's involvement in the first network for men, where wonders never cease, and how their project could be all that it could be until the waitress reappeared.

"We never stop working for you," the waitress said as she placed the food in front of Karen, " all the taste, 1/3 of the calories! Enjoy!"

"m'm m'm good! Magically delicious really," Karen commented as she took her first bite.

"These are grrrreat! " Jake commented as he snagged a fry. "Betcha can't eat just one!" he stated as he continued to munch her fries.

"I'm sorry," Karen told him sincerely as he neared the end, "but I just don't love you enough to give you my last one."

Jake went to pay the bill, digging his card out of his wallet. "The future takes visa, but for everything else, there's mastercard," he joked.

"We love to see you smile, but unfortunately we don't take mastercard," the waitress told him.

Sighing, Karen dug out her wallet. "Cash," she handed the waitress, "Don't leave home without it!" she reminded Jake. As if they hadn't replayed this same conversation 100 other times.

"Thanks, we love having you here," the hostess stated as they left the restaurant.

After dinner they split up, Jake to go put a tiger in the tank, and Karen to get out there because life is not a spectator sport.

"Have fun; I'll leave a light on for you," he concluded as they went their separate ways.


I'm frankly amazed that you managed to cram that much marketing propaganda into so short a piece. I'm also heartily ashamed that I think I caught every single damn one. Ouch.

Great job!


This was really nice, enjoyed it! Really says a lot fro a flash :)


Post a Comment