Star light, start bright, first star I see tonight
I wish I may, I wish I might,
Have the wish, I wish tonight
A child’s rhyme, uttered by a lonely,
slightly intoxicated, barely-adult woman.
It had never occurred to me that the magic of childhood didn’t actually
end at age 18, and that my starlight wish just might have the power to come
true. What did I wish for? Money?
Health? Love? No, those would’ve been useful. I, I wished for a fairy. You know – fictional fluttery creature that
farts glitter? Yeah, that’s what I
wished for.
Now before you get all judgemental on me,
let’s insert a moment of realism here.
Starlight wishes don’t come true and fairies don’t exist. So there is no way in which I should be held
accountable for what happened next.
Absolutely nothing.
At least, that’s what I now wish had
happened. Alas life, I have learned, is
not, in-fact, always fair. Because ever since that day, I have had the questionable privilege
of having my own fairy. I kid you not. Instead of a cat or a dog, I share my life with a magical,
winged, glittery creature who can be seen by others only if she wants to –
which I’ll give you a hint, never happens.
Okay, I could live with the questionable
sanity – I never claimed to be normal to begin with. But the problem is, my fairy is unbearably,
well… Fair. In every sense of the
word. She spends nights primping while I
sleep and is physically ill whenever she sees someone she deems less than
fair. So no, I don’t have an obsession
with glitter. It’s fairy vomit. Ugh.
But worse than living with an insanely
vain glitter ball is the realization just how unfair the world is. I’ve spent
years trying to balance the scales – helping the homeless and under privileged,
fighting social injustice. It’s not
because I’m a good person or socially motivated; it’s because since before I finished uni, I've lived my life with a little fairy
who throws a tantrum every time she sees something unfair. Because of her I have this reputation of
being a much better person than I am. I
should appreciate it; I can certainly acknowledge the personal growth and
social awareness she’s raised in me, but the reality is that even my closest
friends look at me oddly now when I say or do things that the real me believes.
Most of my friends managed to outgrow their youthful errors in judgement, but it seemed mine was destined to influence my life forever. Until one day, after yet another relationship was ruined by the brilliant
combination of my obsessive commitment to ridding the world of inequality combined
with my occasional “hallucinations”, I finally snapped.
“It’s not fair!” I glared at the bane of my
existence, fingers balled into fists, ready to throw a toddler-level tantrum of
my own. “It’s not fair that I’m stuck
with you! I didn’t know fairies were
real when I said that. Why do I have to
pay for that ignorance forever?”
Her eyes grew wide as her wings drooped
and her ever present sparkled dimmed. “You’re
right,” she whispered as her eyes shifted down and away from me.
Before I could apologize, feeling instant soul-destroying
regret for snapping at her, she was gone.
And I learned how unfair life really is.
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