Here there be dragons...

"I'm telling you stories. Trust me." - Winterson

For those who want to feel a bit better about their day...

I’m going to preface this with saying this story is only for those of you comfortable with the real life sides of dealing w animals ;).  You know who you are.   The rest of you - you have been warned.

An expert multitasker,
she is both our story's protagonist and antagonist ;).

So if you’re on my FB there’s pretty much no way you could’ve missed that we now have a feline addition to our house.

She’s an older kitten but still a kitten, and so much fun :)

As w most critters I encounter, I figured we should do some basic training.  Sit, high five, and “in the crate” are solid - so long as there are treats involved.  Recalls non-existent - pretty standard for a cat.   Getting much better about not scratching things and knowing which surfaces she’s not allowed to be on.  So all good - close to a solid family companion.

Life skills

Thanks to the internet, I also stumbled upon the idea that it’s possible to toilet train a cat.  Not litter - she came w that.  But actual toilet. 

Game on ;)

And until today, so far, so good.   We’re at the point now where her litter is essentially just under the seat - so she has to jump on the toilet to use the litter box, but otherwise it’s still a litter box (albeit a shallow one).  And it’s been pretty much no issue except that it requires more frequent cleaning that normal litter, and when she buries it, the litter flies a lot farther.  Short term pain for long term gain.

Today I had to go to the office.  We’ve been having issues w Tucker peeing when we both go out (behavioural not needs based) and because I just really didn’t want to deal w that, I left him w a good treat when we left (Sasha was w me - she spent the day w Bailey).  I swear this is related.

So back to Nola - in the entire time she’s been with us, there’s only ever been one accident and it was the night after we moved her box.  She’d been shown the box, but I think maybe lost it….  Before and since, no problem.   Her litter was spotless when I left, so I really didn’t stress about her.

Fast forward to when I got home.  Shortly after walking in the house all I could smell was excrement.  This is not good.   Took a quick look around the ground floor and nothing.  Smell gets significantly worse going upstairs.  Checked all the open rooms - nothing obvious. Looked at her hiding spots.   Still nothing.

It couldn’t possibly be in the litter bin and that foul could it?

Well no.  Not quite.  Went in the washroom and not only was the litter untouched, it was protected!   Oh fuck.   Pardon my language but you will understand shortly.  Somehow, the lid was down.  So Enola could NOT access her litter if she wanted to.   And where was the stench?!?!   

The tub.  I mean, credit to her to pick the best possible place.  But….  Remember Tucker’s super treat???    I’m guessing Enola had her share.   Sasha doesn’t get those treats because it gives her diarrhea.   Suffice to say the volume of fecal matter in the tub outweighed the cat :(.  In multiple deposits, most of which didn’t resemble solid.  And one tiny cat paw print.   It looks like self preservation cleanliness kicked in after the first effort and she balanced on the end of the tub.   But oh my god.  Explosive diarrhea on the day she was locked out of her litter and I wasn’t home to fix it.  This did not end well.   

For the record: I have looked after many tiny people, cleaned more stalls than anybody ever wants to count, had my arm all the way to my shoulder shoved up a horse’s ass (if you’re not a horse person that’s a literal statement - done while wearing a long glove) and cared for multiple pets of many species. This was among the worst I’ve dealt with. 

So lesson learned.  Tub is cleaned.  Multiple times.  Toilet lid is tied open.   I just really hope it didn’t scare her!   She hurt herself playing w a feather toy the other day and now she’s terrified of it.   That would put a significant complication in things.  So we shall see.

This is now a daemon-spawn toy, to be avoided at all costs.

And yes - she seems totally fine since I’ve been home :).  We’ll see over the next few days if it did irreparable damage to our training.


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