Somebody else's next adventure?

Okay so here’s my new business idea. If I had time and money, I’d be all over it :). Alas, I have neither, and thus share the idea in hopes I can one day be a customer. 

I’m thinking a “silent resort” that is neither religious nor health based. A place for the introverts if the world to recharge in quiet that still serves awesome carnivorous food with savoury deserts. I want to come back from this retreat happy, relaxed, and 10lbs heavier ;). It’s not that there isn’t healthy food, it’s just that vegetarian and healthful aren’t the *only* options.

The resort shop would sell many many varieties of pens and notebooks ;). Probably artists' supplies as well. Possibly even a bookstore involved. 

The property would be rural and stunning. There’s be hiking trails - bonus points if they lead to a waterfall or swimming hole, maybe a beach somewhere. And the only sounds are those from nature.

It would be far enough away from town that light pollution is negligible and the stars and be fully admired at night.

If this resort is in a country that has winter, roaring fireplaces are a must. Snowshoeing and xc skiing would both be outdoor possibilities. 

Potentially a few stress-relieving critters around?   Cats, dogs, bunnies, etc?

Tablets, phones, computers, etc would be discouraged but not blocked - to each their own as long as no sound can be overheard (aka sound off or excellent headset).

A skilled RMT would be an excellent addition. Hot springs a lovely bonus if possible.   

Who’s gonna make this happen? Go on - tell your friends. Quietly ;)