Here there be dragons...

"I'm telling you stories. Trust me." - Winterson

Cat Tree Construction Adventures

So Enola’s been here a week.  Clearly she’s staying :).  And clearly she needs a tree so she doesn’t climb everything else in our house.   Chris cannot handle the ugliness of the tree (fair - they really are hideous) so it will live in my office.   We won’t mention that Enola is still too scared to come upstairs lol.  Someday she’ll appreciate it.  When Sherlock was her size I had an apartment the size of our master bedroom.  Lol my comparison for how cats settle is a little off ;)

Anyways this is my “live blog” thoughts on the cat tree adventure - wrote as I went along, sharing now, unedited.  Consider yourself forwarded ;)

First: this box isn’t supposed to arrive for 2-3 weeks.  And it’s way too small; maybe I ordered something else and forgot?  Not like me, but it’s Xmas so it’s possible.

Hmmm box is heavy.  Probably the tree.

Oh good - instructions are IKEA style and only tool is an Allan key.   I have a shot :).  I’m the queen of ikea furniture ;)

Instructions do not require two people.  Win.  They do require you read the instructions lol.   Ironically you would only discover that if you actually opened said instructions ;-P

Off to a strong start ;)

Have you ever tried to put together a puzzle with no picture on the box?   This is similar.  Most ikea furniture you have some idea what the assembled product should look like.  I have only the vaguest recollection of what this will be.  The picture on the cover isn’t as helpful as you’d think.

Step one: accomplished.

Step two: repeat step one with a bigger box.  There is no logical reason this should be so much more challenging.  Yet here we are.

Step three: it’s time to adopt a passion for wine (I do live in wine country after all).  I’m sure wine would help this situation.

The box on the left was exponentially harder to assemble

Where did I leave the key?   I haven’t moved.  Logically it must be in arm’s reach.  Logic has left the building.

This was not an expensive cat tree.  I am covered in cat tree fluff and wishing I’d gone up a level or two in price point.

I’m also puzzled as to the physics of it, as several of the pieces are bigger than the footprint.  Hmmm this could be a challenge as small footprint was critical for the space…

Where is that key….?   I swear it’s like scissors while wrapping Xmas gifts.

At least Alexa is doing a good job w the music for this adventure ;)

Thank the cat god that the instructions are clear.   Although I’m only on step 4.  I may take those words back later ;)

Hmmmm the screw won’t pierce the fabric like they did earlier.  Scissors it is.  Oh wait - they weren’t supposed to pierce the fabric.  🤦‍♀️  Maybe that’s why.  This one is a win for the cheap fluffy fabric.  My mutilation of it is unnoticeable.  Win.

Definitely the first time I've assembled anything with a ramp

This is the most random IKEA furniture I’ve ever assembled.  Cat designers, shockingly, do not follow human standards for construction design.   Apologies to IKEA as this is definitely not actually from there; it just feels like it is ;)

My wine is empty.  Where did the wine go?  Probably w the key.

Alright.  Step five only requires one tool.  How hard can it be?   Why do I feel this is about to be the furniture equivalent of when your jump coach makes all the fences *really* low?

Why was this step *more* concerning than the ones with dozens of pieces?

Side note - I’m pretty appalled that the top shelf appears to have cat ears?!?!   Fortunately it was mailed in a flat pack.  Maybe I can just not unflatten them.

Not even kidding.

No I’m not stalling.

So it turns out that piece 16 upside down is not, in fact, piece 19.  Fortunately the instructions are excellent and the diagram made it v obvious there was a flaw in my interpretation even *before* I put it together.

Building upward

Hey!  It’s starting to look like a tree.  Also - the binder-twine type parts for them to scratch on are horrible to touch.  I truly hope she enjoys shredding them.  Ugh.

I didn’t need the key for a couple steps.  It has now gone on break.

Also - there’s a strap to affix this to the wall.  Clearly the makers of this product think I’m a more responsible human than I was intending to be. 

Top platform is like spinning a pizza to add :).  Definitely the most fun part of this.  I’m also rethinking where said tree is going to live. 

There’s a bell on this too?!?!  Why do all cat toys come with bells?!?!

Ugh.  Not one bell: TWO

So it is done.  And tbh was actually really simple to put together- but that doesn’t make for a fun story ;).  Where I want it to go is unfortunately right next to the piano and I’m not convinced that’ll end well so temporary home till I sort it out.  We’ll see.


Also - Enola came upstairs of her own volition for the first time shortly after I finished this.  She went about exploring the tree even before I laced it with catnip (I wasn't expecting her to come upstairs, so said catnip was still in the kitchen - also, the SPCA said her name was Catnip.  Enola definitely suits her better; she's too dignified to be Catnip!)

Looking down on the world with appropriate feline disdain


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