I firmly believe that stupid should hurt, I just wish it self-applied a little less often ;)

Typed on phone - consider yourself forewarned!

(There will be a lovely pic of our pond here in am, but can’t post from phone oddly…)   

So while working on our pond this am, I smashed my finger between two rocks (ironically while demonstrating how well the would fit together- spoiler alert, they fit almost perfectly and there was 100% not enough space for my thumb to be inbetween them).

So it’s been a long time since I’ve done anything that’s hurt quite that dramatically - and I have to say that while the whole thing sucked, my logical brain was mildly amused by my body’s extreme reactions.  Like our survival instincts are wild.

Let’s start with - at first crazy amount of swearing.  All the words in my grasp of the English language and I must’ve repeated “fuck” 20 times in a row w no other words.  C at this point was trying to ascertain how serious it was and I was trying to tell him it’d be fine I just needed a minute, but I only had that one word to work with.  How is this an evolutionary advantage?   Can’t say “there’s a pride of lions, watch out” just mutter words most women scold their children for using in public.  Helpful.

I also pulled off the glove (why?  This would do no good) and curled both my hands around it (this one makes slightly more sense but not a ton).  When I finally looked (realistically all this was a couple seconds but time slows when you’re having the opposite of fun) the thumb nail was quickly being filled with blood and the back of the thumb was already hard, tingly, and odd coloured.

C who has far more exp w these types of random injuries than I do, advises that I get my thumb above my heart (avoid more blood than necessary pooling) and sit down.

I was going to take the first advice (even though he’s pretty sure I’ll lose the nail, I’d really rather not have to stab something sharp into it to release pressure) but shrug off the rest to keep working at what we were doing.  The pain sucked but it was already downgrading rapidly.   Except that when I went to move, I realized that his first suggestion of sitting down was *not* optional and if I didn’t sit I’d pass out in the next couple seconds.  Since all around me were landscaping rocks, this would likely not end well *sigh*

So I sat down right where I’d been standing and elevated my hand.  All good right?  Except that apparently my body hadn’t gotten the memo and I started hyperventilating?!?!?  So excessively dramatic for what is, in reality, a little thing.  And what really amused me is that’s what said logic brain was thinking: “this is dumb, and you’re hyperventilating.  Iiiinnnn, ooouuuttt, breathe slowly” - like my inner voice giving me both the normal inner voice snarkiness and then *switching tone* to the exact one I would use externally to talk someone else through the same thing?!?!   Like really?  And then my mind would wander and I’d start hyperventilating again and both inner personalities would come back and collectively solve the problem.  Meanwhile the academic part of my brain is going “this is odd but very cool” lol

Then I clue in that I’m suddenly feeling nauseous - which is so NOT going to help.  And snarky brain is like “wtf, we get the message, we need no more signs that you’ve got an owie.”  So I get up and go to get my water, but only get as far as the deck before dizzy again.   Sheesh.   So sit for a bit more till nausea outweighs dizzy and relocate inside to facilities that can manage that.   So much unwarranted drama.  Like really.

Come back and sit still for a bit more sipping water and systems slowly regulate themselves.   Rest of the day no problem except for occasional rude reminders that things that should be mindless (like tucking my hair behind my ear - which I do a few hundred times a day; or even doing up a button - for something those without long hair can relate to) may hurt for a while *sigh*.   Said thumb is now about twice the size it should be, a smoky shade of purple on both sides, and doesn’t fully straighten.  It only hurts when pressure is applied though.   The real test will be the 24h rule - which is approximately tomorrow am.   Fingers crossed it’s okay.  I’m *really* queasy about things in my - or other people’s - nails; I can’t even peel chestnuts off horses (those who know…).  Interestingly, I’d have no problem piercing the skin on the other side (you know, the organ than can expand to deal with the situation) but the idea of the nail gives me nightmares.  Thanks brain.

So yeah - that was my mini psyc experiment for the day.  While the results were moderately entertaining I’m still gonna give it a solid 0/5 stars.  Highly do not recommend.  And I’ll be very annoyed if this interrupts my current fitness plan which is actually getting results AND I’m enjoying it.  Like no.  Not an okay time to stop.

Hope your wknd had a more auspicious start than mine!