Here there be dragons...

"I'm telling you stories. Trust me." - Winterson

Blogging's cheaper than therapy

Consider yourself forewarned.

Wow.  Another crazy week.  Have to admit to feeling slightly frazzled and going into an insane weekend.  Oh dear.  The good, the bad and the ugly this week.  I don't get down very often, but this week... :(

So Sunday was hay day -- which went remarkably well :)   In huge thanks to our awesome hay supplier, we managed to get an excessive amount of hay in without an excessive amount of stacking.  And with Rebecca, Brena, Chelsea and my parents there -- all in all it was a reasonably harmless activity.  And it was followed by a fun afternoon at the barn involving slushies, overtired people, and horses -- what more do you need?

Unfortunately though, while we were doing said hay, one of the support beams in the barn broke.  O.M.G.  When it seemed the barn was not going to fall down, we continued our haying and life went on.  But serious stress.

So Wednesday was Equus CT -- and talk about emotional swings there.  It was HOT -- which I absolutely *love* but which makes me worry about my horses.  And then the girls -- on their second outting ever.  Also something I find a TON of fun, but I usually bring an experienced person along to help, but that day, while I had Chelsea's help and she was AMAZING -- she doesn't actually have any more show experience than the other girls *g*  When you think of the HUGE learning curve when you first start travelling with your horse, it means every step has to be watched, especially the safety aspects...  Everything from how to load and unload (who gets on/off first?  Which side of the trailer? Do you undo the cross-tie or the chest bar first?   How DO you undo the chest bar?  How do you tie up a hay net?....) to the million and one details about travelling:  What should we bring?  How much water?  Do I need... X, Y, Z?  Then there's the general horse knowledge -- don't wrap the leadline around your hand.  Offer him water.  Again.  Untack and bath *quickly* when they're hot.  Make sure you pack your truck in a way you get stuff out.  When should you tack up?  How/where do you warm up?  And on and on all day.   And you know what?  I love it.  I love watching the girls grow and develop as horsewomen.  I love seeing the difference at the end of the season as they earn confidence and knowledge and independence.  But the first couple are a little exhausting!   And then this one became uber emotionally stressful with the highs and lows.  The extreme high of Olivia doing solid dressage, jumping clear, and placing second!!!  And the super upset of Caelan breaking her wrist :(   I HATE seeing my kids fall, and far worse seeing them get hurt.  Especially when they were clearly trying so hard.  It's heartbreaking :(   I know, logically, that it's a part of the sport.  Everybody falls - even at they Olympics.  And a broken bone isn't the end of the world.  And I'm certain she'll be back at it and showing again -- maybe even this fall.  But I feel so horrid that it happened and now she's out for the best part of the year :(  Esp as it was an "easy" fall as such things go.  Watching it you'd expect her to brush herself off, maybe be upset - as people will be - that it happened in competition, but that's about it.   But landing just a bit wrong changed the outcome entirely :(  Poor girl.  No fun :(

We've also been doing some analysis of the numbers -- and if I don't start making some more money in the next few months, I'm going to be in pretty serious trouble :(  And I'll tell you -- nothing puts a pit in my stomach faster than the thought of giving this up to go back to the office.  Even the worst day at the barn is still better than the best day at the office!  Scary.  Very scary.  And what do I do with nine horses at that point?  Literally the thought of it is enough to make me cry - and I don't cry easily.

Then with the heat I've been super concerned about the horses -- as are the other horse owners I know.  And with all the horses in my care, I make the decisions I feel will be best for them.  Based on years of experience and what reading and training I've had.  But other people don't always agree, and sometimes it seems like I can never choose right...  If I bring them in, they should stay out.  If I leave them out, they should stay in *sigh*.  But unless I'm specifically asked, all I can do is go with what I genuinely feel is best for them.  But with everybody being overheated and stressed, this makes it all that much harder.  Boooo.   Ever have that kind of week?  Where it seems you can't get anything right? The only plus to that is that I try *really* hard never to do it to my staff.  I'm sure I do at times -- sadly human here.  But I try if they make an executive decision when I'm not there that I disagree with to at least acknowledge it and appreciate that they were thinking and trying to solve whatever issue.  Then maybe explain what I might've done instead *g*

In the midst of this heatwave, some lovely Amish gentlemen came and repaired the barn, so while financially still stressful - they did an awesome job, super-fast, and for a reasonable price.  They also confirmed that it was a rotten beam rather than anything we did that caused the collapse, so that was a HUGE relief.

Then today's heat was enough that I actually cancelled lessons -- those who know me know how unheardof that is!   But I rode at 9am and even then my very fit horse was having trouble with the heat, so executive decision made.  Fortunately for me though I do have truly awesome students and they all got it.  I know some were disappointed, but they're compassionate enough to understand the care of the horses comes first.  AND since Chelsea is up braiding for the show tomorrow, she did night check for me.  Have I mentioned lately how awesome she is?  Which gave me a night off. VERY appreciated.

So then I had plans to work on my next marketing campaign, but honestly just couldn't bring myself to be productive *sigh*  Hot and exhausted and crashed on the couch with my book.  And when that finished email, facebook, blogger and a chick flick on tv.  And I'm just having a sucky enough week that in my little pity party for myself I got all bumed between the book and the chick flick when I realized that my birthday's coming...  And I'm a little old to still be single. My best friends are all married with kids and I can't remember the last time I went on a 3rd date.  Tricky with my schedule and complete lack of meeting new people.  And my exciting Friday night involves me at home on a couch.  *sniff sniff*   And I can just see Jen reading this and getting REALLY annoyed at me right now for not calling her for an instant girls' night.  Which we definitely need to do soon.  But I'm still theoretically working on the business tonight.  Can't you tell? *sigh*

Ugh.  I have to roll my eyes even reading that.  But hey - blogging's cheaper than therapy right?   On the plus side, my horse has been going *really* well this week.  Still a big psyc over fences, but we're starting to get some semblance of control back.  Not even slightly convinced she's actually ready for our upgrade next week -- hoping to take her out schooling on Wed and find out.  But we'll see.  Is that a plus side?  hahaha really did have good rides all week :)

And, despite being a touch overtired and stressed right now, I do have the best job in the world and am exceptionally grateful for every day of it -- especially every SUMMER day :)  Had SO much fun teaching last night.  Watching Brena and Bella flying around the course would make anybody smile :)  And of course, the one who's making me smile right this second - Miss Sasha.  Who, to escape the heat, dug a pit in the shade and promptly lay down and had a nap in it.  Very smart puppy.   Superpuppy always makes me smile.

My next goal - to be in bed by 10pm.  Or maybe 11.  Because tomorrow we're off to Glenarden and Sunday's Ride 4 Riders :)  Both of which I'm quite looking forward to.



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